A MODEST PROPOSAL by SwiftFree
A Modest Proposal begins by lamenting the sad fate of the poverty-stricken Irish who have to spend all their time looking for food to stuff in their kids' mouths. Luckily, the author has come up with an excellent way to put the brats to good use: raise them as food for wealthy citizens. Really, it all makes perfect sense. If you aren't entirely convinced right away, he proceeds to spell out the benefits. It's all good, because only 100,000 Irish children out of the population will be set aside for dinner. If you're not sure how to cook a child, don't worry. A friend of the author passes on some very helpful suggestions regarding stewing, roasting, baking, and boiling methods. Even better, the author calculates exactly how much a child should weigh to serve the maximum number of guests.
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